Rules To Surviving Zombieland

Lets face it. In the sea of nameless turmoil, we all tend to blend in with the crowd. In fact, the only way we seem to find semblance of identification in this world, is by the thoughts in our heads, the acts we accomplish and the people with whom we surround ourselves. I was watching Zombieland last night and that kid from Social Network was talking about his Rules To Surviving Zombieland. And if I’m not mistaken, this dog eat dog world definitely makes it difficult for any of us to survive, albeit from flesh eating zombies or from corporate brown-nosers. And with the recent zombie outbreak occurring in the dirty south (which has definitely now earned the legitimacy of that name), I felt compelled to make my own Rules To Survival! Well, maybe not rules so much as guidelines. After all, who’d want to climb in their car, start driving a highway and suddenly get attacked by a zombie in the backseat! But, as usual, I digress.

  1. Love what you do. No one else will do that for you. IMHO, this is the most important edict because it’s something that most people forget. Whether you love it for the job, the people, the stability, the freedom or just because you get to see the smile of your 5-yr old girl when you get home, LOVE what you do. And love why you do it…
  2. Work Hard. Be efficient. And most importantly, surviveNothing’s served on a silver platter and chances are that if it is, it has poison or rabies! Use your noggin, keep your head down, and keep your eyes open because only you have your own best interest at heart.
  3. Everything in moderation. Homeostasis is like a pyramid of cheerleaders. One of those girls gets a little wobbly and the whole gym gets to see a group of misappropriated teens lose 10 cool points and skip go. Make sure you balance your life and hopefully everything doesn’t start toppling over.
  4. Enjoy the little things! Because life so rarely throws around lottery winners and NBA champions, if you keep swinging for the moon, you’ll likely end up falling at Mach 20 back down to earth.
  5. Be consistent! If every day you finished one project, you’d complete 3650 in a decade. So if there are 3650 things you want to do, start the first one tomorrow and give me some Advil for the migraine you just gave me while I thought about the 3649…
  6. MYOB and BYOB! No one likes a nosy nelly and no one likes a leech. If you want peoples’ respect, you’ve got to show them respect! So understand their privacy and practice common courtesy!
  7. Be True To Yourself! You are tiny dot #37. But you do what you do and you are who you are. Be confident to the world and let life connect the dots. Because if you try to be like another dot, life just might end up drawing a line around you.
  8. Breathe, damnit! Do I really need to say more?
  9. Keep an open mind! There are 7 billion people of different descent, interests, cultures, location, education and life experience. Some of these people just might have something valid to say.
  10. Travel Light and be prepared! Simplicity is tough. Back to basics. Prolly the hardest thing to do is simplify our lives to the necessary things that we need to survive + things we need to make us smile. If you’re not absolutely in love or in need of it, then dont bring it. I know that planning for every possible circumstance can make your head spin so DON’T! Plan for a couple probable instances and leave the rest to the roulette table…
  11. Logical progressions will still lead toward entropy! In other words, just because you’ve evaluated every option and assessed every risk, it doesn’t mean that the inevitable or un-planned alternative won’t happen. The universe is expanding and so is entropy. People are complex, conditional stochastic beings influenced by other stochastic beings and a multitude of chaotic systems. Shit will happen. Just hope you have an umbrella…
  12. Sometimes, it’s okay to be a lemming. Yup. Probability supports it. So just because you don’t want to follow everyone else, doesn’t mean that everyone else isn’t right. Make your own decisions, but don’t hate on it if it’s the same as everyone else.
  13. Fight or flight. You’re not Jesus. Turning the other cheek will probably get you smacked again. The world waits for no one. That’s why your body was built with protective instincts. Rely on them. Hone them. Make sure that you’re as prepared for life as you can be. Beware of your surroundings. Absorb like a sponge. And when the time comes, react!
  14. Pants get just as dirty as shirts! Ok I saw this in some other post, but I LOVE it. In other words, use some common sense, please? We always wash our shirts, but when it comes to jeans, it repels nasty? Uh, I don’t think so…
  15. Check your trunk! Or your backseat. Or your spare bedroom. Or your stove. Or your window. Don’t over-worry but do your due diligence. Whether it’s a contractual obligation or a taking a spry jog in the early morning, it never hurts to take an extra peek and proceed with caution!

Okay I got tired of writing for now, but I will probably continue adding to this list as I go along!

Thanks for listening to this random guy…

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